Pathetic

Days flow by, being passed over carelessly. Alarm clock, bathroom, car. Buying breakfast, drinking tea, working, attending meetings, lunching, working again. Usually till late. Having or buying dinner on the way back. Book, Internet, sometime sports. And insomnia.

Few things, very few things are happening. What really counts? Donating frequent flyer miles to charity? Hardly. Calls to New Zealand? Perhaps. Writing a love letter? Who knows?

I sent one today anyway, thoughtlessly ignoring it may sound cheesy. Being pathetic is the act of passion. It's been over two years and I still keep wondering — may this be love?

Execution

Took a long walk late in the evening in a desperate attempt to fight insomnia. And then spent another two hours emailing, chatting and browsing the net anyway.

Still, the ideas are quite clear. They just need a proper execution.

As if it was a job. 'Cos in a way it is.

Prime

Making money, having more responsibility than ever, enjoying the work, flying all over the world and generally doing fine. And having kids and a beautiful wife by my side.

Somehow the second part of the dream failed to materialise so far. And I wonder if it's good or not.

Filling the void

Some time ago, I used movies to get over my sleepless periods. Sort of a harmless sleeping pill. I'd watch a movie late at night, browse the net and chat with somebody on the other side of the planet. Would I feel hungry or thirsty, pulsing city lights were just few floors down. And having the best 24/7 kebab shop in Sydney two blocks away, one could never lose.

These days, it's pretty much the same. I'll have Pepperoni, I'm calling the pizza place in my Gipsy quarter as I'm leaving the office. Twenty minutes, mate, the Macedonian with a thick accent replies. Suits me well.

Watched an old Czech sci-fi movie tonight, Ikarie XB-1 from 1963. I'm positive Stanley had watched it number of times before making his Odyssey. No more words needed — definitely worth seeing, even if one's not an insomniac.