Great and grim

A bit dreamy today. Woke up home all alone — yet it almost felt like having somebody by my side. Thoughts were piling, slightly nightmarish, slightly joyful. Bittersweet.

Slowing down to recharge over the weekend was a great idea. Only I have to keep reminding myself it can hurt.

Focused

Just arrived from Austria last night. Shower, few emails and then bed. Woke up at five, had a blood test done at 6:30 in the morning. Buying breakfast on my way to work, sending my first email at 6:45, leading my first meeting at eight.

Working till twelve, quick lunch in KFC and starting all over again. Till 6:45 pm. I need a break, I'm tired, I'm thinking as I'm driving off. Groceries, home.

— Would you come over to set up my router, mate?
— Yeah, no worries.

Coming back at 11. Wzzzz, interjects the phone as I'm putting down things for tomorrow. A short glance at display and I can throw it all away.

I'm off to France in the morning.

Baile Átha Cliath

How do you fight it?, she asks. I stay in hotels, it has always worked, I respond with a smiley. It's late at night and I cannot fall asleep.

Few days later. It's after midnight, I've just landed. Checking in and then taking a long stroll through the centre, listening to Sinéad O'Connor, an archetypal Irish rebel. There's hardly any people in the streets but for Temple Bar. I wonder around, having a sip of Guinness, then slowly walking by the Liffey quays back to the hotel.

And I sleep well.