Abyss

Spent the weekend shivering in bed. So did she, at the other side of the city. I was nursed by my ex, she was looked after by her boyfriend.

Almost a week later, I'm driving home late at night. I've been thinking ever since I got out of bed. And I have come to a conclusion, a very painful one: It leads nowhere. It makes me unhappy — in a weird, bizarre way — this love, it burns me from within, yet it's a cold, lifeless flame of inner numbness, of unreal expectations, of fruitless hope.

It hurts, getting so close and then stall. It's cruel, unfair, incomprehensible. And it's a drug, leaving me wanting more and more, falling deeper and deeper into the abyss of unrequited affection.

It leads nowhere, I must keep reminding myself.

Enough. Enough now.