Stuck

Two days of nothing. I hardly left the bed over the weekend. There's nobody I'd like to see and I can't think of anything of any interest to me. Having a call or two but just listening quietly rather than talking. It feels a bit like dying, yet I'm unable and unwilling to fight it.

I don't have to do much though. I did my part already and the dominoes are moving. Things are slightly changing. My work, my life, my priorities, it's happening without my further intervention.

When I made love to this girl I adored just last year, I felt very little, too. Maybe a guilt of some sort, maybe shame or humiliation. She thought it was great and I did not know what to say. I should not have done it.

Lying in bed, unable to breathe. Stuck in the state of nothingness.