Recharging

The battery in my laptop has just died. Just few sketches before I follow.

Met a smoking hot chick the other day but was not ready for a deal of a lifetime. Or rather summertime. Forgot to call her back to ask anyway.

There's no sunshine rays anymore, there's blades. And it's getting tougher. Never again a place or a car lacking aircon. Summers in Prague stretch nicely over five months now.

I hoped to recharge, yet I'm far worse off than before. Looking forward to intergalactic flight through expanding universe of tiresome tattle straight into my big brass bad. Mobiles off. Doors locked.

Soullessly slipping away.

Passing out.

Movies - May 2007

I got through few intercontinental flights this month, yet I didn't spend a second watching flicks over the clouds. And back on Earth? Looks like I wasted more time watching others then living my own life. Sucks. Hope it can only start slowing down from now. Though, it's winter, so I wonder.

1. 10 Items Or Less (2006)
2. Because I Said So (2007)
3. Taxi 4 (2007)
4. The Business (2005)
5. À bout de souffle (1960)
6. Bird (1988)
7. Perfect Stranger (2007)
8. Une femme est une femme (1961)
9. Nochnoy dozor (2004)
10. Paris, je t'aime (2006)
11. Employee Of The Month (2006)
12. Kouř (1991)
13. Notting Hill (1999)
14. Čtyři vraždy stačí, drahoušku (1970)
15. Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
16. Kopytem sem, kopytem tam (1988)
17. Účastníci zájezdu (2006)

Plus, I saw a great interview of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates from All Things Digital. Good for these long hours in the air. Otherwise waste of time, too.

Movies - April 2007

April was gone in a blink! There's a list, minus the usual trashy comments.

1. Sabrina (1954)
2. Boogie Nights (1997)
3. The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989)
4. Rafťáci (2006)
5. Factory Girl (2006)
6. Das Leben Der Anderen (2006)
7. Alpha Dog (2006)
8. The Painted Veil (2006)
9. Paris - When It Sizzles (1964)
10. 300 (2006)
11. Bra Boys (2007)
12. A Love Song For Bobby Long (2004)
13. Half Nelson (2006)
14. Everything Is Illuminated (2005)
15. Idiocracy (2006)
16. Requiem pro panenku (1991)

Can't believe there were that many!

Paddington Blues

Forth day sober. Low pressure, narrow footpaths, hours at work are ticking away slower than usual. Office bash, attendance almost compulsory, quick stroll through a park right into a cage of four walls. Guitar, demos, mail, litres of sugar water and irrefutable desire for a cigarette. Can't be. Joyous news of tax cuts for the next financial year on a telly. Vote, bitch, we feed ya.

Fabulous!

A street. Young night pulse decorated by hammered seventeen-year-old chicks forgotten in hypnotising centre of crazed warhols and primitive hopefuls after a weekend. All good, movie clubs crowded by semi-intellectual jerks, midnight bookstores hiding young couples in love, darksome fellows on stairs passing a pipe around, guess Charlie Parker's one of them.

Pubs are hives of tireless night bees.

Blackcurrant juice instead of a fix. Thirst still hurts.

Movies - March 2007

I can hardly recall what was I doing two days ago, yet I'm trying to compile a list of movies I've seen some two months back anyway. A bit of a challenge; nevertheless, here it is:

1. The Good Shepherd (2006) (enjoyable)
2. An Inconvenient Truth (2006) (show-off)
3. The Aviator (2004) (too long)
4. Quand j'étais chanteur (2005) (nice)
5. The Pursuit Of Happyness (2006) (uplifting)
6. Cloud Nine (2000) (funny)
7. Musím tě svést (2002) (sharp)
8. The Illusionist (2006) (bright)
9. Swingers (1996) (you're money, baby ;-)
10. Sexmisja (1984) (legendary)
11. Tatínek (2004) (charming)
12. Hot Fuzz (2007) (witty)

Strongest month so far, meaning I was mainly bludging.

Falling down

Sleepless nights. Watching endless reels of movies until early morning hours, then sleeping till two. Eating out, then falling soulless into blankets. It's raining outside, so be it! Few messages, nothing important. What is of any importance, anyway? I have no values, I lack principles and am unable to distinguish between black and white. Would it make a difference, would I be able to? Hardly. Importance is just a word that means nothing without a point of view. It's attached to it. Yet, there's no rules. No rules means no importance whatsoever. Tricky, ain't it?

I am no longer in a stand-by mode, I'm falling down fast. Free fall, that's what they call it, don't they? Might sound a bit tragic under certain circumstances, but I'm the one free-falling and I don't feel that way. Universal truths were invented for morons.

Let me fall a bit deeper. I might need to bite the concrete to wake up, or, ironically, should I rather say to fall asleep.

Alone

Had been out two nights in a row. Not for too long, and almost sober, felt like embracing the bed and disappearing into infinity immediately afterwards. Succeeded yesterday, not much tonight.

Hadn't called anybody. I only realised this once I started writing these words. Meaning I really didn't feel like being with somebody (highly unusual). Ran through myriads of microscopic raindrops to the movies. Scared the shits out of a poor girl on a corner.

Enjoyed a movie, a first one in three weeks.

Alone at the movies. Can't recall when was the last time that happened. Probably almost twenty years ago. Or? Doesn't matter.

Enjoyed myself.

Ordem e Progresso

Everything I keep denying... Order & Progress. Another Brazilian night. Last second decision to join. Eye candy too sweet to resist. Service sucks. No fucking lemon, mate? No lime? Tequila's pointless. No fucking orange juice means no vodka either. Far out. A real reason to whinge.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, from the deepest hell — Mr Jim Beam and Mr Johnnie Walker. It's to be their night and their night only!

Trying my best to have fun, giving up only when band starts playing Bob Marley. It's been too much. I have to make progress, for god's sake.

"A party that is not extraordinary is unworthy of being a party at all" — someone hints with a grinning apology to Oscar Wilde, and I humbly tend to agree. Checking two more joints in a quick succession, both packed with Lebs and wankers. No avail.

This night is doomed. Won't pick up even Madeleine Albright's uglier sister. Won't get anywhere. Time to head home.

Saturday's too hot for anything but staying in bed. Reading, watching videos, catching up on sleep.

Finally time for order and progress.

Movies - February 2007

Again, a reference list. I had to flick through a calendar to get it right, as I can't recall all. Only a handful of them, but I haven't seen anything since mid-month. Still, not bad (or too bad?), considering February is the shortest of them all.

1. Leonard Cohen I'm Your Man (2005) (charming)
2. Blood Diamond (2006) (strong)
3. Triumph des Willens (1935) (astonishing)
4. Hotel Rwanda (2004) (sad)
5. Babel (2006) (depressing, yet awesome)
6. Little Miss Sunshine (2006) (bitter-sweet)
7. Children of Men (2006) (pretty hard to dig)

Saw almost all Oscar-nominated movies what generally means I had too much time on my hands and instead of enjoying myself down on the beach I was stuck in dark pits staring at moving pictures like an idiot.

Update 08/03/2007: Good month, wasn't it?

Friendly afternoon chat

– Did you ram that chick, bro?
– Yeah, did.
– Any good?
– Kinda.
– How's her kitty?
– Not even a runway left, mate, like a seven-year-old.
– Holy shit. You boned a fucking lolita, you son of a bitch.
– So what.
– Fucking lucky loser.
– Go fuck yourself, you pathetic fag.
– Fuck you.
– Fuck you, too.

I can't get no satisfaction

This is a strange summer. And I am in a strange state of mind. Doing so much, yet yielding so little. Basically nothing. Emptiness. That's how I qualify it. Doing nothing important (for self, of course, gave up saving the world at the age of twelve), getting nowhere.

Priorities are unclear. I wonder if I even have some. Maybe to settle, I guess. It is a great idea, really. One of very few that crossed my mind lately.

The issue is that I don't know where to settle as I love planes & cars too much (I hope somebody will notice a slight touch of sarcasm in that statement). Plus, what is even worse, I have no clue who to settle with. That really sucks.

And on top of that, I am facing a question of how ready I am to be with someone. How ready I am to give up that emptiness I am flying in.

It's as crazy as it's sad.

I can lock myself in, or go out and browse through awesome laid-back beauty of Woollahra and Paddington lanes, can go to and/or throw multiple parties with hectolitres of fire water poured through my throat, go to picturesque Bondi & just breathe the air, or go to a bar anywhere around, pick up a chick and give it to her. That always makes me shut up for a while.

How cool. How appropriate.

Only not satisfying.

What the fuck should I do?

Eric Clapton Live, Sydney 30 January 2007

Couldn't really name all Clapton's songs as I could with U2 or Waters. Obviously haven't listened to him enough. I'm lost when it comes to new stuff (and some old stuff, too). Had to wait for the setlist to be posted here, so I could copy it for a reference.

I took a few videos, this is the first of them. The other ones are Nobody knows you when you're down and out, Layla, Cocaine and Crossroads (the last two were the only encores).

Main set: Tell The Truth * Key To The Highway * Got to Get Better in A Little While * Little Wing * Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad? * * Driftin' Blues (EC Solo) * Outside Woman Blues * Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out * Running On Faith * * Motherless Children * Little Queen of Spades * Further On Up The Road * Wonderful Tonight * Layla

Encore: Cocaine * Crossroads

Enjoy.

Wonderful Tonight

A short one about wanting

The more I want, the less I have. That is probably something that works universally. It also works the other way around. The less I want, the more I have. Until something breaks and then I don't have anything. Not that something broke or that I want something. I'm not expecting anything, thus I'm not missing anything, so I can see my Buddha slash Seneca companions kindly waving at me from their perspective heavens.

What did I want? Oh yeah, I don't want anything.

Sure, dream on, my alter ego.

Movies - January 2007

As usually, before I forget, there is a list; not quite complete, there were three more movies that I won't mention as they were probably seen by an extremely limited number of people... but the others are:

1. Black Dahlia (below average)
2. Scoop (below average, though everybody loves Scarlett)
3. La Doublure (funny, but pointless)
4. Apocalypto (below expectations)
5. Déjà Vu (crappy premise)
6. El Laberinto del Fauno (due on Wednesday, hopefully the best of all listed)

I gave a nonchalant miss to Perfume on the plane (though I flicked through it few times, just to double-check it's crap).

Can't recall anything else, but it looks that this wasn't a successful month. Hope there are some better ones waiting for me next month.

Roger Waters & The Dark Side Of The Moon, Sydney 25 January 2007

Set one: In the Flesh * Mother * Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun * Shine On You Crazy Diamond * Have a Cigar * Wish You Were Here * Southampton Dock * The Fletcher Memorial Home * Perfect Sense, Parts 1 and 2 * Leaving Beirut * Sheep

Set two (Dark Side of the Moon): Speak to Me * Breathe * On the Run * Time * Breathe (Reprise) * The Great Gig in the Sky * Money * Us and Them * Any Colour You Like * Brain Damage * Eclipse

Encore: Another Brick in the Wall, Part II * Vera * Bring the Boys Back Home * Comfortably Numb

Loose mind

Eating Japanese salmon, sipping green tea that is so far from a green tea I know. It ain't sweet, she complains. Shouldn't be. I'd laugh, but I don't feel like laughing, she's almost gone and I am gone, too, 'cos I can't handle living in three countries and four, no, sorry, five places. It sucks.

Don't feel like going down to Bondi tonight. Feel like watching stars. What a wonderful screensaver.

Three o'clock in the morning, sober. TV's on, it's a must. Another sleepy day to come.

G'day sunshine.

Nausea

Didn't stop for last few days, so thanks God for Xmas. The longest night is just about to come.

Went to see The Queen tonight, went to a Brazilian Xmas party, too. Unusually sober. Drumming sounded almost tribal, yet it wasn't complete. You can't relocate Copacabana spirit to Bondi, especially if Brazilians are holding back. Or are they?

Spent about an hour in cabs, talked to a Turkish cabbie about life. So typical. Another Beşiktaş fan. I always ask these Turkish the same question: Fenerbahçe or Galatasaray? And they always answer Beşiktaş. Makes me laugh.

Got my first Xmas present; Sartre's Nausea.

Stunningly appropriate.

Another lazy one

There's no much one can do while detoxing. Watching movies. How cool is that? Seen Pedro's Volver that was great, nevertheless a bit of a chick flick. And an old one with Robin Williams, Good Morning, Vietnam. That one looked like a weather forecast next to a multi Oscar box office smasher, though I could feel mojo in the distance (wouldn't it be for Williams, I'd had probably given up on it).

Six days to Christmas, just realized now, though haven't started shopping yet. Typical.

Afternoon

Went down to Bondi for the first time since starting detox. Still a place of tranquillity for me, can't help it. Avoided bars, just walked along and looked the other way.

Great to see all surfers, backpackers, gypsies and wanderers going their way and enjoying summer. Bondi is still hippie, Poms are not worried to roll a joint on the steps of their provisional homes and buff away while chatting about expensive rent.

Slept on the grass, listened to Miles. Sun was forgiving.

Enjoyed the day.

Movies

Just for a reference (before I forget); stayed in Oz for three weeks so far, made it to the movies five times (plus saw one on a DVD).

Borat was obscene but fun, The Prestige took me about twenty seconds to digest, The Departed was quite predictable but acting was fabulous (for a moment I thought it could pass for Pulp Fiction of the 21st century), Casino Royale was the best Bond movie I've ever seen (as it was the very first one too) and Pedro's Volver is only due tomorrow, but tickets have been ordered already.

The Bonus, Walk the Line 'bout Johny was cool, too, but I drank during the flick as much as he did so can't recollect the details very clearly...

All good.